An Open Letter to the Doctors That Didn't Take Me Seriously
6:00:00 PMI've been thinking about writing this blog post for a while now, but I never really know how to get it started. Honestly, I probably would have kept putting it off, if I hadn't scheduled it for today.
So, I'm sitting here thinking about all of the things that I'd like to say to my previous doctors, even though I have no idea how to verbalize these thoughts.
The Letter
Dear doctors,
There are many things that I would like to say to you and although I don't have the strength to say them to your face, I am going to say them in this letter.
Because of you, I have spent the last two years feeling helpless. I felt like I was going crazy and feeling things that weren't real. Little did I know, you just weren't taking me seriously.
Honestly, I can't believe how stupid you were to brush off my complaints without doing any real research. Had you listened to me, I might feel better by now. Had you listened to me, I might not have as many illnesses as I do.
One of you even told me, "You're 20, so no one wants to diagnose you with more than one illness." We'll I've got news for you! I have now been diagnosed with more than 10 chronic illnesses at the young age of 21!
Don't you think for a second, that some of these could have been prevented? Or at least a couple of the symptoms could have been reversed if they were caught early? I know I do!
Now don't get me wrong, I know that you've gone to medical school and studied far more medical cases than I have, but don't I deserve to be heard?
It's not all on you though, I do take part of the blame. I was conditioned by society to believe that doctors know all and that what you say is true. So, I was completely surprised to find out that I wasn't the only one being brushed off by their doctors.
I understand that I'm a weird medical case, and no more important than any other patient, but I'm still important.
I understand that my symptoms might not make sense to you; especially because I look perfectly healthy and my blood work agrees.
What I don't understand, is why you were so quick to get me out of your office. I can't seem to comprehend why you didn't ask more questions or why you didn't try harder to believe me. Nor do I understand why you didn't request more blood work and various tests.
There was one of you that did, however, it wasn't exactly a win for me. You were the one that told me I was too young to be diagnosed with more than one illness. You were also the one that acted as if you regretted requesting an ANA test. Yet, had you not done that test, I wouldn't have known how sick I really was...and still am.
Even though I'm mad at all of you and I blame you for the worsening of my condition, I am glad that I saw you. Dealing with you, has taught me to be thankful for the doctors that I have now. To appreciate the questions they ask me and to thank them for the extra blood work that they do "just in case."
I am glad that I have learned to become an advocate for myself, because now, I am finally getting answers. They aren't all great and there are still some questions that have gone unanswered, but we are well on our way to finding out the truth. And hopefully figuring out the proper treatment plan that will work best for me.
Sincerely,
The patient that you didn't take seriously.
There are many things that I would like to say to you and although I don't have the strength to say them to your face, I am going to say them in this letter.
Because of you, I have spent the last two years feeling helpless. I felt like I was going crazy and feeling things that weren't real. Little did I know, you just weren't taking me seriously.
Honestly, I can't believe how stupid you were to brush off my complaints without doing any real research. Had you listened to me, I might feel better by now. Had you listened to me, I might not have as many illnesses as I do.
One of you even told me, "You're 20, so no one wants to diagnose you with more than one illness." We'll I've got news for you! I have now been diagnosed with more than 10 chronic illnesses at the young age of 21!
Don't you think for a second, that some of these could have been prevented? Or at least a couple of the symptoms could have been reversed if they were caught early? I know I do!
Now don't get me wrong, I know that you've gone to medical school and studied far more medical cases than I have, but don't I deserve to be heard?
It's not all on you though, I do take part of the blame. I was conditioned by society to believe that doctors know all and that what you say is true. So, I was completely surprised to find out that I wasn't the only one being brushed off by their doctors.
I understand that I'm a weird medical case, and no more important than any other patient, but I'm still important.
I understand that my symptoms might not make sense to you; especially because I look perfectly healthy and my blood work agrees.
What I don't understand, is why you were so quick to get me out of your office. I can't seem to comprehend why you didn't ask more questions or why you didn't try harder to believe me. Nor do I understand why you didn't request more blood work and various tests.
There was one of you that did, however, it wasn't exactly a win for me. You were the one that told me I was too young to be diagnosed with more than one illness. You were also the one that acted as if you regretted requesting an ANA test. Yet, had you not done that test, I wouldn't have known how sick I really was...and still am.
Even though I'm mad at all of you and I blame you for the worsening of my condition, I am glad that I saw you. Dealing with you, has taught me to be thankful for the doctors that I have now. To appreciate the questions they ask me and to thank them for the extra blood work that they do "just in case."
I am glad that I have learned to become an advocate for myself, because now, I am finally getting answers. They aren't all great and there are still some questions that have gone unanswered, but we are well on our way to finding out the truth. And hopefully figuring out the proper treatment plan that will work best for me.
Sincerely,
The patient that you didn't take seriously.
For all of you that know what it's like to get brushed off by doctors, this is for you. I hope that you've been able to relate to this in some way and maybe I've even inspired you to write your own letter too!
You guys have no idea how much it means to me that I've been able to share my journey with you on this blog. I have never felt more safe and confident than I do right now and it is amazing knowing that you are all out there somewhere supporting me.
I hope you all know that I will support you in every way that I can too. That's why I use this blog as a platform to spread awareness about chronic and invisible illnesses. I hope that one day, we are all heard, diagnosed, treated, and supported; but more than that, I hope that we are able to end the stigma against mental and physical illnesses.
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2 comments
Your post really hit home. I just went through this, again. Blew off by a GI doctor, being told by my therapist that my nausea was part of my depression. Imagined if I had listened to her, all the while my stomach getting more damaged. I sought a second GI's opinion and he diagnosed me with Celiac Disease. It's a tough diet for life but to not be crippling nauseous is far better! Every time I was told that it was all in my head it turned out the doctors were wrong!
ReplyDeleteHey Emily! It means so much to me that you were able to connect with this post, that's exactly why I write about such personal topics ☺️ I'm sorry to hear that your doctor blew you off, but I'm happy to hear that your medical team is making progress! I hope that your symptoms ease up on you soon! 💓
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